So what is presence? Personal magnetism? Let's start by discussing what it's not.
First of all, it need not be conflated with other situations in life, be it how you feel when socializing at a party or one-on-one. Talking in front of groups, both large and small, is an entirely different animal.
Second, presence has nothing to do with being "entertaining" or having the ability to tell a good joke. In fact, that can really get in your way from having presence.
So what is it?
Take a look at the word: presence. Essentially, you need to be fully present. That is, not in your head - not worrying about how you come off, whether you forgot something, what events happened before you spoke or what will be coming after, or what you hope will result from the speaking engagement.
So how do I get fully present, Mr. Wizard?
Great question. Luckily, there are specific answers. Many of them are truly experiential, and I teach them in my workshops and coaching sessions, but here are a few that can be conveyed in words.
- Get in your body. Do a full physical warmup before you speak. As my students and clients know, most people view speaking as happening from the neck up, and maybe involving their hands a bit. I see speaking as a whole-body experience.
- Honor it changing in the moment. So many speakers (including myself) are perfectionists, and we want everything to come off exactly as we planned it. Unfortunately, this can never happen - because you're in front of a live audience. Even if you've given the exact same talk before, it was likely in a different room with a different group of people. Two speeches are never the same, because a speech - even one that is a strict lecture - is an interactive engagement. If you're not really engaging and connecting, you're not present!
- Think process, not product. Following up on the last item: be in the process of the moment, not in the product of the idea of how you expected it to go. Go with the flow!
- Connect with your audience.Use good eye contact. And pause - pauses are a way of listening.
Again, these may be easier to recite than to learn how to do - even something basic like eye contact may feel forced and awkward in front of a large group. But don't despair! Whether you get coaching from myself or other professional speech coaches, these can be very quickly learned; most of my clients learn the bulk of it in just 3 to 5 sessions - tools they will use for their whole lives. But for the short term, the tips above are a great place to start!