Sunday, May 6, 2007

Stressed out by networking events?

Whether it's a formal networking event, or simply a social situation where you desire to network, it's easy to get stressed out. The former may feel forced, surrounded by people you don't know - and with the latter, if you're job searching, for example, and want to talk with acquaintances about possible leads, it can feel awkward to introduce the topic of jobs.

What can feel like a forced or artificial social situation may bring out the "actor" in you. Of course, that connects with the reason why so much acting is bad - because it doesn't feel real to the audience. So here are two possibilities to help you be more of yourself (which can be used together or separately):

1) "Do" less. Literally relax and trust that you don't have to do or be anything special. You don't have to "sell" yourself - because you're naturally a unique and interesting person. (Really!) Don't force anything to happen. And know that whatever your current state - seeking a new job or whatnot - is common, acceptable, and even a good thing - because the right person may be in that same room, hoping to meet you as well!

2) Before the event - even in your car right after you arrive - close your eyes, and remember a particularly wonderful memory. A wedding, being at the beach with friends, an easy-to-recall event that makes you smile and light up. Take a few minutes to breathe in all the sensations you remember - wiggling your toes in the sand, the salt sea air, the waves rushing in, the hot dog you bought at the vendor... engage all 5 senses. And remember clearly the enjoyment of who you're with. *Then* bring that memory in the door with you. Remember it at various points during the gathering. It will help you relax and smile, which is guaranteed to attract people to you.


This blog is designed to provide both the casual user and professionals with tips they can use in various aspects of their lives:
  • the workplace
  • networking events
  • public speaking opportunities
  • everyday life!
If you've perused my web site,, you've read about my philosophy of Everyday Life Performance. That is, we're performing all of the time, mostly unconsciously. By applying performance training techniques and concepts to our lives, we can gain greater empowerment, self-expression, and joy.

Once or twice a week, I will add new tips to help foster authenticity and gain helpful skills - as well as occasional special offers for workshops, classes and coaching. Stay tuned!